UK 03: Edinburgh - WEDDING DAY!

Sunday, January 5, 2025

WEDDING DAY!

Today was the big day – our wedding day!!

We had sent out wedding invitations several months ago. Thinh had done a great job putting together the digital invites, which embraced the theme of a destination wedding. The main invitation resembled an airline boarding pass, and included the flags for Vietnam, the USA, and Scotland. We had sent out invites to a small group of people – basically anyone we knew who actually might make the journey to Edinburgh. For example, we skipped sending invites to our friends in Vietnam or most of my extended family in the States because we knew they wouldn’t be able to attend the wedding. Happily, the majority of the people we invited were able to fly in and attend today; the only people who couldn’t make it were Red (Kristina), Craig from Raleigh, and my sister Caryn. It was disappointing that Caryn wasn’t able to make it to the wedding, but with four kids to look after (the youngest just barely two years old), and with Andy not being able to take the time off from work to look after the kids, it just wasn’t feasible. Caryn desperately wanted to come to the wedding, but we all understood her situation – we would share the video and photos with her afterwards though.

No one from Vietnam had been able to attend the wedding because of the high costs of flying all the way to the UK, which we fully understood. Thinh and I plan to have a small party when we get back to Hanoi with all of our friends there to celebrate the wedding. Thinh’s family wasn’t attending the wedding mostly because they were unaware that we were getting married. He is not ‘out’ to his family and, while his mom and sister seem to be supportive of the gay community, his dad is vehemently opposed to gay marriage and the gay community in general. It has been tough on Thinh to have to keep such a major part of his life a secret from his family, but I have always told him to do what is best for the harmony of his family. Vietnamese culture so strongly values the family and we both know that his dad’s stance on the entire issue could lead to problems in the family. I’ve told Thinh that I will support him no matter what he does – I would of course love to get to know his parents, etc, but I don’t want to do anything to disrupt his family in Vietnam. (I do know his sister, Trang, and her long-term boyfriend, Phuong, quite well because Thinh and I have gone on several weekend trips around Vietnam with them, as well as frequently going to dinner together. We both suspect that Trang may be aware that we are a couple, but it has never been discussed with her directly.)

Thinh and I woke up around 09:00 and met my parents in the lobby so we could head out for breakfast. We had invited everyone else out for breakfast, but they decided to skip it this morning. We went to the same café where we ate lunch on our first day in town because they serve a very good full Scottish breakfast. Thinh and I both ordered the full Scottish, complete with tatty scones and haggis (I love haggis!). Thinh was pleasantly surprised by how tasty all of the food was this morning – from pictures online, he had expected it to all be rather bland. My parents had a simpler breakfast, avoid eating anything with haggis (they are not as adventurous as I am when it comes to food).

During breakfast, Penswe messaged me and let me know that he wouldn’t be able to make it to the city today due to the snow. It was sleeting in the city center this morning, but it had snowed quite heavily in the countryside outside of town. While disappointed that he couldn’t make it to the wedding, I fully understood and told Penswe that it was far more important to be safe and stay home than risk driving on the icy roads.

The four of us returned to the hotel after breakfast. No sooner had we reached our room than Lotta messaged and asked if we’d like to meet them for coffee. Thinh and I set out to walk to Starbucks to meet Lotta, Patrik, Py, and Harri. As we were walking towards the Royal Mile, we bumped into my friend Al and his fiancé Maddy! They had just arrived in the city and were on their way to check in (they were staying at the same hotel as us). It was such incredible timing! I quickly introduced Thinh to Al and Maddy, though we couldn’t talk long. We all planned to have a proper hang out and chat later though.

The Swedish contingent was waiting for us at Starbucks and we had a lovely time with them. The hot coffee was perfect for the cold, rainy weather today. We sat upstairs where we could look out at the awful weather, while we remained warm and dry. Everyone was very excited for Thinh and me, and I was getting more and more excited as the day progressed. We hung out together for a couple of hours before heading back to the hotel.

By the time we left, the rain had gotten worse and I was a bit worried that it would continue to be awful when it came time for our wedding later in the afternoon. The Swedes were moving over to our hotel for the night, so we would all be together at the hotel (with the exception of Susan, but she was only a short walk away). Thinh and I ran into Al and Maddy again as we reached the hotel. They were on their way out to get a bite to eat for lunch. Neither of them had an umbrella, so I insisted that they take mine with them, which they happily accepted.

Back at the hotel, we picked up our cakes from reception. The hotel had called me while we were at Starbucks to let me know the cakes had arrived and I was eager to see what they looked like in person. They looked amazing and delicious – and they were bigger than either of us had expected! We had ordered the smaller sizes since we were going to be a small group (and we’d be eating cake after dinner).

Thinh and I now started preparing for the wedding ceremony. We each showered, styled our hair, etc so we looked our best. It was still hard to believe that our wedding day had finally arrived! We had to go through so much to reach this point, from the paperwork to get married in the UK to the stressful marriage visa process (I had to pay an extra $700 to get my UK marriage visa rushed). It was all well worth it and I would go through it all again.

Thinh and I were both wearing traditional Vietnamese áo dài for the wedding. I had insisted upon wearing áo dài rather than a tuxedo because I think the Vietnamese clothing is very elegant and beautiful (definitely more impressive than a simple tux). I also wanted to have his Vietnamese culture represented in the wedding. We were having a Western-style ceremony, but at least our clothes could be Vietnamese. Thinh had been resistant to the idea, pushing for us to get married in tuxedos instead. He eventually relented and agreed to get áo dài made for our wedding.

In early November we had gone around Hanoi to visit several tailor shops in search of somewhere that could make our áo dài. Many of the shops quoted us outrageous prices (one wanted 25,000,000 VND per áo dài – roughly the equivalent of $1,000!). Thinh had found a local seamstress near his family’s apartment and, when he called her, she said the price was 3,000,000 VND per áo dài – right within our budget!

The áo dài shop itself was down a small alley in a tiny hole-in-the-wall place. The woman was outstanding and very lovely. Though she spoke no English and my Vietnamese is total rubbish, she was still very friendly with me. There were dozens upon dozens of sample áo dài hung on racks for us to look through. Thinh instantly found one that he liked: a deep navy blue embroidered with a gold dragon. It was really stunning and, when he tried it on, we both knew this was the one for him. For myself, I wanted a deep/royal purple colored áo dài embroidered with a phoenix. The woman searched through her piles of fabric, but there wasn’t a purple that I liked, unfortunately. She then got out some red áo dài for me to try on and I instantly fell in love with one of them. The fabric was a vibrant shade of red and had subtly patterns sewn into it. The woman was also able to do the phoenix design that I wanted, using matching colors to the dragon that would be on Thinh’s áo dài. Fabrics and patterns chosen, the woman proceeded to take our measurements so she could get started making our outfits.

When we left the shop that afternoon, Thinh finally admitted that he was happy we were wearing áo dài! I was very excited as well. When we picked up the áo dài (literally the night before we left Vietnam to fly to the States), I was in awe: the woman had exceeded my expectations and the áo dài looked amazing! We tried them on and they fit us both perfectly. Seeing Thinh trying on his áo dài made me so incredible happy that he was going to become my husband. There is no one else in the world whom I could imagine marrying.

Back in Edinburgh… Thinh and I got dressed and put on our áo dài (for the first time since we’d picked them up). We looked very handsome together! Grabbing our wedding rings, we went down to the hotel lobby to meet up with everyone. The minute we stepped out of the elevator, everyone in our group was admiring our áo dài (a lot of “oohing” and “ahhing”). The entire group looked very good as well. Lotta and Py were both wearing very stylish little hats (we had been joking that I expected them to be wearing proper fascinators in the style of what the royal family would wear to the Ascot races).

We left the hotel at 15:00 and thankfully the rain had let up slightly – it was now just a light drizzle. We were getting married at the City Chambers, which was located along the Royal Mile, only a short walk from the hotel. We hurried to the main entrance to escape from the rain and we were met by a very friendly man who was expecting us. It turned out that ours was the only wedding scheduled for today, so they knew exactly who we were when we arrived.

The man led us up to the second floor where our group was split in two. Thinh, me and our two official witnesses were led into one room, while everyone else was taken to the main wedding room. For our witnesses, I had picked Al and Penswe when we submitted all of the paperwork back in November. I was a bit worried that it might be a problem having to make a change since Penswe couldn’t make it, but the staff assured me that it was perfectly fine. I asked Lotta to step in and act as the second witness.

Our officiant soon arrived and she walked us through how the ceremony would take place, what we would need to do, etc. She was a lovely woman and put us at ease while she walked us through the entire process. I admit that I was getting a bit nervous, mixed with bubbling excitement, as we waited for the ceremony to begin. Thinh had brought his camera to film the ceremony and he quickly went to the ceremony room to get that setup. Lotta and Al were also led to the room, leaving me waiting alone. When Thinh returned, we had a few minutes to wait before the man assisting with the ceremony ushered us over to the main room.

We had booked the nicest of the three wedding rooms at the City Chambers – the European Room. It was a beautifully decorated venue which was very old-style European. We only had nine guests at the wedding and the European Room could accommodate significantly more than that. As Tinh and I approached the room together, my heart began racing with excitement.

The two of us entered the room together and walked down the aisle hand-in-hand. We stopped just in front of the podium, where the officiant was waiting. All of our guests were standing as we entered, divided between either side of the aisle. Thinh and I continued to hold hands as the ceremony began. The officiant read through the standard, required readings for all marriages in Scotland, and the proceeded to read out the passages that Thinh and I had selected for our ceremony. Part of the paperwork for the wedding had included selecting our vows and exactly what we wanted said by both the officiant and us.

When it came time for us to say our vows aloud, we turned to face one another. I could see the pure joy and happiness in Thinh’s eyes as we looked at one another. I was bursting with happiness and I could hardly believe that I was getting to marry this incredible man. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of my mom, who looked overjoyed for us as well. Thinh and I recited our chosen vows (aided by the officiant), and then it was time for the rings.

Lotta had agreed to be our ringbearer since Penswe’s son, Atlas, was unable to fill the role. She gave us the rings and we returned to our vows. After Thinh said “I do” I started to slip the ring on his finger, but I somehow thought he had given me his right hand, so I tapped at his other hand. He paused and then gave me that hand, whereupon I put the ring on his ring finger. It was only after the ceremony concluded that I realized that I had been confused the entire time – I had placed the ring on his right hand! Thinh said he was confused as well while I was doing it – I was such an idiot, but in the rush of emotions during that part of the ceremony, I guess I can be forgiven for getting a bit confused. Thinh placed my ring upon my hand after I said “I do” as well. At that point the officiant pronounced us married and we shared our first kiss as husbands!

It was now time to sign the marriage certificate, so Thinh and I sat down at a nearby table, while Al and Lotta joined us. We both signed the form, followed by Al and Lotta as our witnesses. I took a photo of the document with the signatures on it because we were told that the official marriage certificate would just have everything typed up – it wouldn’t be as unique as the one with everyone’s signatures. With the formal certificate signed by all parties and then the registrar, the wedding was officially concluded. Thinh and I were now married!

Throughout the ceremony, Al and Maddy had been taking photos for us since we hadn’t hired a photographer. It seemed silly to spend a fortune for someone to take pictures that friends and family could take for us. With the ceremony concluded, we were then allowed to take photographs throughout the room and the building. We took dozens of pictures with everyone and the man who had helped us since we arrived graciously agreed to take some group photos of everyone together. There were pictures with my parents, with Al and Lotta, and with each of the respective groups of friends who had attended.

The ceremony may have been simple and small, but it was absolutely perfect. We were surrounded by family and friends who love and care about us, and they were ecstatic to be there to celebrate our special day together. It flew by in a flash – it seemed we had only just arrived before it was time for us to head out (we were allotted only a certain amount of time for ceremony and photos, but since ours was the only wedding for the day, they gave us some extra time for photos).

When we left the City Chambers, the rain had finally stopped! We had about an hour before our dinner reservations, so we decided to pop into a nearby pub for some drinks to celebrate. We somehow managed to get a large table where we could all sit down. Al bought Thinh and me each a beer, which was kind. Suddenly two bottles of champagne arrived at the table for everyone to share – my father had ordered them at the bar, but I hadn’t noticed at all (the pub wasn’t very large and it’s difficult to see everything that was going on). I was very touched that dad bought the champagne – it was a very nice surprise! We stayed at the pub for about 45 minutes, and the champagne was quickly consumed by the group. Thinh soon gave me his beer as he didn’t care for it very much (he rarely drinks alcohol). Mom struck up a conversation with a couple sitting at a table next to ours, telling them all about the wedding.

As we enjoyed the champagne, Al stood up to give a short speech. It was lovely to hear him speak about our friendship over the years, as well as about today’s wedding. He had heard me talk a lot about Thinh and he had been very happy to finally meet him. Al is truly one of the best people I have ever met during my travels. I was so happy that he was able to come up from London for the wedding.

As 17:00 hit, we needed to head out and walk over to the restaurant for dinner. I was tipsy after the beer and champagne, but not drunk (thankfully). We had reservations at a place called Amber Restaurant, located just up the Royal Mile (quite close to the castle). I had honed in on this place because they offered menu selections for all dietary restrictions, and, most importantly, they served Scottish food. I really wanted to have Scottish food at our wedding dinner and thankfully Thinh thought the menu looked good as well.

The restaurant was not very crowded this evening and we were seated in the main dining area at a long table. We placed our drink orders and then the appetizers were brought out. We had preordered all of the courses to help the restaurant handle the large booking. Since we’d preordered, we were also served the dishes that Penswe, Steph and Atlas had ordered. This turned out to be a nice bonus because we could share the extra food, tasting some of the other dishes. The restaurant served Irn Bru, the famous Scottish soda, and I made sure that Thinh ordered one to give it a try. I'm not sure he was sold on Irn Bru, but at least he tried!

For my appetizer, I ordered the pressed ham hock with apple & celery remoulade. For my entrée, I ordered the chicken stuffed with haggis wrapped in bacon, served with mash and a whisky sauce. The food was incredible! I was absolutely blown away by how delicious each dish was, and I already had high expectations based on the phenomenal reviews of the restaurant. By the time dessert arrived, I was stuffed, but I had ordered sticky toffee pudding and nothing would put me off from eating my favorite British dessert.

Our wedding dinner was absolutely perfect. Everyone enjoyed the food and, more importantly, we all enjoyed one another’s company. Susan really hit it off with Al as they chatted during dinner, while my parents talked quite a bit with Lotta, Patrik, Py, and Harri. Thinh and I mingled with everyone throughout the meal.

Since we had been eating in the main dining area of the restaurant, we hadn’t been able to bring a wedding cake with us, but that didn’t stop us from having cake back at the hotel! Everyone went downstairs to the dining area of the hotel, which was empty, while Thinh and I went to our room to retrieve the cakes. Mom had bought a cake topper which had two grooms on it, which was very nice. Susan brought down the bottle of Amarula she had bought at duty free for us to enjoy with the cakes.

No one was particularly hungry at this point since dinner had been so filling, so we all spent some time hanging out while we let our dinners settle. Susan presented us with a wedding gift: it was the VND wallet that he had bought several years earlier when she’d visited me in Vietnam! Inside of the wallet was as astoundingly generous gift: $100, £100, and €100 in cash! I was totally blown away by her generosity and we both thanked her for the gift.

Lotta, Patrik, Py, and Harri next gave us another wedding gift: a bag full of delicious Swedish candies! It was a huge collection of various gummy candies, many of which I had tried when Lotta and Patrik gave them to me years ago when we’d met up in London. Lotta and Py gave a short speech and then the four of them performed a short song for us, which was very sweet! Thinh and I had told everyone that no gifts were needed when we invited them to the wedding, but we were both very touched by the thoughtfulness of everyone.

We finally decided to have some cake, even though none of us were truly very hungry. We went around the table and cut small slices of whichever cake each guest preferred. Thinh and I shared slices of each cake. The chocolate fudge cake was decadently rich and the Biscoff cake was fully of delicious Biscoff flavors. My favorite was the Biscoff cake, which I enjoyed a slice of along with some Amarula. Susan poured out small glasses of the Amarula for everyone to enjoy. It was Maddy’s first time trying it and she enjoyed it very much.

By the time we were finished with the cake, it was getting quite late and we all decided to call it a night. Al and Maddy were heading back to London on an early train the next morning, so they were the first to say their goodbyes. I had offered to give the leftover cakes to Al so he could take them to work with him when he got back to London. There was no possible way that we would have been able to finish the cakes on our own, and I knew that if Al took the cakes to work, they would definitely be eaten. We combined the remaining cakes into one box, saving some small slices of each one for us to enjoy the following day. Thinh and I said goodnight to Al and Maddy, who we would be seeing once we reached London in two days.

The wedding celebration was winding down and everyone was getting tired. Everyone decided to head to bed, so we said goodnight to everyone. We had made plans to meet up with the Swedes in the morning before they left for the airport, and then to meet up with Susan for dinner tomorrow night as well.

Today had been magical and exciting – it was hard to believe that Thinh and I were now married! I could not imagine a better man to call my husband. Since the day we met, Thinh has made me the happiest I’ve ever felt in my entire life. His love for me is evident in everything he does – I have never had anyone treat me with such kindness, thoughtfulness, and selflessness. Everything with Thinh feels so easy and natural; our love doesn’t require us to change who we are because we love one another for who we are, exactly as we are. Thinh truly is the one and only person I want by my side for the rest of my life. I am so happy to call him my husband!